I potentially hurt my witness in the town where I live this morning. I was driving down Main Street on my way to the Christian school to speak at chapel (irony of ironies, right?) and this guy in a big pickup truck pulled out in front of me. Like, RIGHT out in front of me. And to top it off, he stuck it right on the speed limit which I... um, *cough... usually obey. So I did what I think most of us would have done - I rode his behind all the way through town. Man, I was really showing him! I'm sure he realized what a jerk he had been because of how big of a jerk I was being TO him now. Yeah...
Then he pulled over and let me pass him. Oops... Now he was looking at MY car, probably memorizing my license plate, or the sticker I have on my back window. Oops...
It occurred to me then that if this guy ever visits our church, or sees me doing some service project around town, he's going to see the back of my car and turn around and drive the other way. I have probably killed my ability to ever minister to this guy, and probably his family, too.
Not my best moment. Sorry, sir, whoever and wherever you are. I was supposed to show you Jesus, but I showed you my sinful nature instead, and I'm sorry.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Joseph, even-handed decorum is important - I'm not saying anything other, except to be real is better. Luther said, "If you are going to sin, sin boldly" in other words, don't be an "actor." The root of the Greek word for "hypocrite" means actor. It's not a sin to be angry, it is a sin to "act" upon unjust anger, and a sin to hold the anger long after the "event" is past. Saint Anthony said that the sign of an insane man was one who was still boxing at the air long after the battle is over. Of course what you expressed was "impatience" - which is another thing entirely. I doubt that you damaged anything, really and if the fellow finds himself under your ministry he might be relieved that you showed some "humanity" instead of consistent "acting." Reminds me of my friend Douglas - your Dad knew him. First time I met Douglas he was a trainman and I was an engineer on the railroad. Doug gave a poor signal when moving to a coupling and I couldn't stop as fast as he would like and it knocked the drawheads sideways. He yelled curses at me I won't repeat. I pulled the engines away from the cars on his signal, and as he was laboring to straighten the drawheads I walked three engine links back to where he was and without saying a word I almost knocked him out. While he was on the ground I said, "If you want to get up, we'll finish the fight, but know this you can say anything you want to me, as long as you speak to me courteously,(and I gave some very ugly examples of things he could say courteously) but you will never curse me without pain." He was a troubled Vietnam Vet and we ended up becoming very good friends, in fact best friends - I've never had a closer more genuine friend. I lead him to the Lord (oh yea) knocked him on his ass first. He ended up becoming a powerful witness for the Lord and spent years ministering to motorcycle gangs before his untimely and premature death. You can trace some of the Bykers for Jesus movement back to his witness in the 1970s and 80s. I wept like a baby when he was killed. What he learned of me is that I loved the Lord and loved anyone who came into my view. After the altercation he was very quiet, for weeks only spoke when he needed to; then one day he said, "I haven't figured it out yet, but you weren't angry when you coldcocked me, were you?" I said, "No, but I knew that I wasn't going to kill you, and had you tried that language on some of these guys sooner or later they would have found your corpse between these box cars." He said, "When I got back on the engine that night I couldn't figure you; I knew you weren't angry." That started a long dialogue that lead him to the Lord. Better to be real than act. If the "real behavior" is out of bounds, then one has to attack the source of the behavior and change at the core. Trust me, I'm still capable of laying someone out. But not out of anger. Sometime I'll have to share with you from what a dark place Doug was rescued.
ReplyDeleteButch